The executive midlife crisis

Photo by Yaoqi on Unsplash

I recently had a conversation with a Sr Dir of HR at Medtronic. She has a lot of admiration for her employer. I do too. So, when she told me that some of the internal coaching she does is with executives who are questioning what they are doing with their careers, it gave me pause.

Consider this a long-haul symptom of the pandemic. The time away from the office and a break in a years-long routine had led to employees breaking free from habit and into self-reflection. The result has been a tsunami of executive midlife crises.

I wrote about the Great Resignation just last month. Part of it is a function of demographics. As Boomers reached an age where retirement became an attractive option, they were bound to leave the job market. Part of it is a result of healthy 401-Ks, as stocks have rocketed in the past year.

But there are other things going on. Employees between 30 and 45 years old have seen a 20% increase in resignations year on year. Women in this age range are more likely to be leaving. Their work experiences tend to be less satisfying than men’s. They are often in the front-line jobs of healthcare and education that saw stress accelerate the most during COVID. And they felt the joys and obligations of family life most acutely, with their children at home.

Now, add factors like reaching the midpoint of your working career, working from the echo chamber of a home office, an organizational pyramid that narrows career options with your current employer and a glimpse of your own mortality, as the COVID death toll approaches 800K Americans. You have the building blocks for a midlife crisis. And it is touching a large number of corporate executives.

Somehow, this feels different from what we traditionally think of as a midlife crisis. There is far less of the typical selfishness, maybe because selfish outlets were closed down for so long. You can’t get a facelift if clinics are not accepting elective surgery. Having an affair is far less exciting via Zoom. Instead, we are reacting to racial tensions, income inequality, polarizing politics and threats to our way of life from human-induced acts of God. Freud is taking a back seat to Frankl.

In the New Yorker, Lizzie Widdicombe interviewed some marketing executives:  “We’re reconsidering who we are, what we care about, what we want to do with our time. I’m sitting here writing pitches for big-box retailers on how they can sell more products that people don’t need.”

Having identified this crisis, what can we do about it? I’m going to stop short of suggesting a radical change, whether it is in your career or your whole life. There are four things you can do that can make a difference in how you feel, how you feel about yourself, your work and your relationships. They may shed light on a way out of your crisis, or they might show just how needed a fundamental change is.

1. Keep a journal. This is advice that I give to all of Executive Springboard’s mentees. At a minimum, journaling helps you reflect on what is happening to yourself and to those around you. It can also be an outlet for identifying emotions that you have suppressed.
2. Reconnect with a higher purpose. Are there things you are passionate about but stopped devoting time to them? Re-engage! Are there aspects of your work that link with your personal mission? Dive in! Is your career getting in the way of what you find important? Find a way to contribute, either outside of work or through a more satisfying job.
3. Embrace discovery. Try new things. Find joy in learning. Open yourself to knowledge that can come from unexpected places. Maybe it is being mentored by somebody junior than yourself. Maybe it is taking a new route to a familiar destination, trying as new recipe, listening to new music or vacationing someplace you’ve never been before. Enjoy experimentation, especially when it fails.
4. Take care of your physical health. A critical part to ensuring that a crisis becomes a positive turning point is to make improvements in your physical wellbeing. Whether it’s getting enough quality sleep, exercise, diet.

Suppose you are not in the throes of a midcareer crisis, but you are responsible for people experiencing this. You don’t want to lose valuable people by having them become additional Great Resignation data points. And you don’t want them in limbo, limping through their crises, working at less than full speed, bringing down co-workers. What can you do about it?

• Get a pulse on how your people are feeling. I’m not talking about employee engagement surveys, though they certainly have their place. Instead of aggregate metrics, it’s important to get to an individual level. Start with the assumption that, over the past year, everybody has been dealing with significant emotional difficulties. Probe on where there may be issues, which if not addressed, can be unhealthy for the individual and the company.
• Find ways to offer individualized support.  The needs are different, and so are the solutions. Some people would benefit from a coach or mentor. Common issues might be addressed through a sense of community, within your organization or associated with outside groups. Others need to develop their own individual plans for resolution. Some organizations have succeeded by providing people with sabbaticals.
• Operationalize your mission. Hopefully, you have a reason for being that goes beyond providing shareholder value. If your business has articulated a mission or purpose that can motivate employees to get out of bed in the morning, create ways for your people to get involved. This connects them to a higher purpose. It connects them to their colleagues and the community. And it enhances their connection to the company.
• Be prepared to lose people. Some managers will find a new career opportunity the inevitable result of the crisis they face. It feels like a failure when valuable people leave. In truth it is part of growth, for them and for you. The respect and compassion you show employees struggling through a critical personal and professional time pays dividends. It enhances your brand, builds respect and loyalty among remaining employees and may add intentionality to your succession plans.

 
When it comes to addressing a career crisis, there is no such thing as benign neglect. Ignoring the problem doesn’t make it go away. Tackle it head-on. Provide time for reflection. Recognize that changes, though not inevitable, might be for the best.